Halloween II (2009) review
Rob Zombie gets to put his full stamp on a Halloween movie. Hooray?
Classic movie reviews will contain spoilers.
Halloween II
Directed by Rob Zombie
Written by Rob Zombie
Starring Scout Taylor-Compton, Malcolm McDowell, Tyler Mane, Brad Dourif, Danielle Harris and Sheri Moon Zombie
Halloween II (2009) Review
I don’t blame the actors for any of this.
That’s a tough sentence to start a review with. It probably lets you know exactly what direction this assessment of Rob Zombie’s original sequel to his own remake is going to go. But it’s important that I get that out right from the start. I don’t blame the actors for any of this. There’s only so much you can do with a character when the filmmaker decides to create the most unlikable version of them possible. That’s where Malcolm McDowell and Scout Taylor-Compton find themselves in Halloween II (2009).
The story picks up a year after the remake. It gives Zombie a chance to go his own way with the franchise…and that way is, wait for it, ugly. Hard to believe, right? He turns Laurie Strode into a totally unlikable character. He turns Loomis into one too. The way each character reacts to their new situations as survivor and…I guess famous book writer…reveals the true issue with these Zombie movies. His impulse is to always go ugly. Theirs is no grace to these caricatures. He fills the world with filthy people inside and out…and drags the main characters down to their level.
There are two exceptions to this rule. Unsurprisingly…it is, once again, the Bracketts. Danielle Harris and Brad Dourif find something interesting and worthwhile in their portrayals. They stand in stark contrast to Laurie’s non-stop (and loud) spiral. It makes Annie’s death here the true tragedy of Halloween II. The scene where her father finds her is one of the few memorable things about the movie. In a positive way, at least. You probably remember the white horse and the ghost mother and Michael walking around without a mask. And, depending on which version you watch, speaking once.
That’s right…there are two versions of Halloween II (2009) out there. Each one has different weaknesses…and share some of the same weaknesses. There’s a very different ending depending on which one you pick. The director’s cut has the better ending, in my opinion. But that’s only because Laurie becomes so insufferable that she deserves her fate in that version. Honestly, I don’t recommend either. The scene where Sheriff Brackett finds Annie in the director’s cut is better…so go with that one if you really want to watch this movie.
Most of Halloween II (2009) is spent watching Michael walk around killing people we don’t care about. At least that comes with some brutal kills. The rest of the time we watch Laurie scream her way through a downward spiral that makes you feel very relieved that Jamie Lee Curtis never played the character this way in any of her returns to the franchise. It’s all enough to (almost) make the few Loomis scenes where he is a prick to everyone feel like a nice, quiet break.
As for the ghost mom and her horse…I don’t know. I’m sure it means something to Rob Zombie. Or…maybe it doesn’t. So much of Halloween II feels like Rob Zombie trying to tell everyone how much he doesn’t like Halloween it’s hard to tell. He purposely turns every character he can into a monster. If you have seen this movie, or choose to in the future, ask yourself who you’re supposed to be rooting for. Who are you supposed to identify with? Who are you supposed to care about? It’s clearly none of the three characters who lead their own plotlines. Which is why Annie being dispatched, despite being relegated to the sideline, feels like the only thing that resonates in the story. Zombie didn’t like these other characters. And he made sure everyone knew it.
Aside from all those issues…it’s also a choppy movie that is often ugly to look at. Editing is a nightmare. Some scenes feel completely out of place unless Michael is teleporting around town. Which he might be doing. Because nothing is sacred in Rob Zombie’s Halloween. Sadly, that feels like the point.
Scare Value
Halloween II (2009) is a bad movie. It’s even a bad Rob Zombie movie. It doesn’t feel like he had much interest in making it…and certainly not in saying anything interesting about it. Outside of the Bracketts…there is nothing here to latch onto whatsoever. Strange imagery for the sake of strangeness. Characters stripped down to their rotten cores. Halloween II plays out more like a temper tantrum than a movie. At least Zombie got to make a version of the Halloween story that is 100% his. Unfortunately, that just means it’s uglier than ever. Danielle Harris and Brad Dourif do their best to save this from the fire. Which is enough to beat out the time Busta Rhymes beat up Michael Myers with kung fu. … Maybe.
1.5/5
Halloween II (2009) Links
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