The Yeti review
Are we there yet-i?
New movie reviews will not contain spoilers.
The Yeti
Directed by Gene Gallerano and William Pisciotta
Written by by Gene Gallerano and William Pisciotta
Starring Brittany Allen, William Sadler, Corbin Bernsen, Heather Lind, Jim Cummings, Eric Nelsen and Christina Bennett Lind
The Yeti Review
Call me old fashioned but when I see a movie titled “The Yeti” I’d like there to be a Yeti in it. Now, there is technically a Yeti in this movie, of course. But there may as well not be. What there is a lot of is sitting around. Perhaps a better title would have been “The Sitting” or “The Talking” or “The Waiting for Something that isn’t ever really going to happen”. That last one may be too long to put on a marquee…but it might be the most accurate way to describe The Yeti. What we get here isn’t terrible…I want to make that clear from the jump. The Yeti is a slick, good looking and occasionally interesting movie. It’s just isn’t the movie you want it to be.
There are plenty of slow burn horror movies out there. Movies where you find yourself enjoying the build up enough to remain engaged…and you think to yourself “if they go nuts in the third act…they may have something here.” The Yeti feels like that kind of slow burn. Unfortunately, it never chooses to explode. It just keeps burning. There’s a Yeti hanging around the fringes of the story. At times we even see some of the carnage it unleashes. What we hardly ever see…is the Yeti.
I can’t tell if it should be chalked up to not feeling confident about the rubber suited monster that remains just out of view or because they felt showing the monster would conflict with the super-serious tone of the story they were telling. I can tell that it was the wrong choice. Yes, action scenes with a rubber suited Yeti are more likely to look absurd than they are to help sell the quieter vision of the piece. But absurdity can be fun sometimes. And The Yeti is in desperate need of some fun.
In The Yeti, an expedition is launched to find some missing people. Fathers, in fact. We follow their progeny as they brave the Alaskan wilderness in search of their whereabouts. They get more than they bargained for when an unstoppable monster begins to pursue them.
That synopsis makes it sound more fun than it is. While technically the plot of the movie…you’re not going to believe how little of the Yeti we get here. I’ve seen The Yeti called a throwback monster movie…but I haven’t been able to decipher what that’s supposed to mean. I’d call it more “monster adjacent” than a monster movie…and I have no idea what it is meant to be throwing back to.
I don’t mean to make it sound like The Yeti is nothing by wall to wall talking heads. It isn’t. The movie unleashes some fine practical gore effects when the situation calls for it. But the only suspense involved in the proceedings is whether or not we’re ever going to spend any time with the titular character. Danger may be all around…but it feels like it’s always kept at arm’s length. Even when it’s happening on screen.
There are some positives, however. The cast is universally quite good. As long as you can accept that they’re playing in a quiet drama with very occasional threat of death by nearly unseen Yeti…you might enjoy what it’s doing.
Which brings us back to the main issue with The Yeti. What’s wrong with being absurd? The choice to tell such a zippered up and melodramatic creature story may have been dictated by budget, or it may have been a choice straight out of the initial concept…but it’s fundamentally the wrong choice for a movie marketed, and titled, as a monster movie. There is a rightful expectation of on screen monster action at some point. The Yeti dances around it as best it can. Turning towards the absurdity would have been preferable to another long conversation about what we barely just saw happen.
One decision that The Yeti gets right is to set itself in the past. As a period piece, technology that could solve a lot of problems isn’t available. Also, to be blunt, period pieces are often dry and dull. The Yeti is more “cold and dull” …but it fits the bill well enough. The Yeti leans more towards period piece than monster movie. Which is funny…because the practical effects are strong and the glimpses we do get of the Yeti are really good too. Whatever kept them from wanting to lean the other way…into something fun even at the risk of camp…is a shame.
Scare Value
The Yeti isn’t much of a monster movie. It’s more of a period drama about daddy issues with a monster throwing a wrench into several tedious discussions. The movie’s effects are good…even the barely spotted creature looks fine. But The Yeti isn’t interested in delivering much on the promise of its simple title. Instead, we sit in the cold listening to people chat about things we wish we could be seeing. Especially when the little we do see works…and the majority of what is offered doesn’t.
2/5
The Yeti Links
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