Panic Fest Film Festival Coverage
Young Blondes, Stalked and Murdered review.
It can be hell out there for a young actress.
Festival reviews will not contain spoilers.
Young Blondes, Stalked and Murdered
Directed by Nick Funess
Written by Nick Funess
Starring Samanthan Carroll, Elle Chapman, Zachary Grant, Gemma Remington, Sally Sum, Amrita Newton and Hayden Begley
Young Blondes, Stalked and Murdered Review
Writer/director Nick Funess’s debut feature Young Blondes, Stalked and Murdered isn’t exactly what you think it is. While it’s true that a serial killer is stalking and murdering young blondes…it really isn’t the focus of the story. This is a story about the hardships of a young actress. She’s young…and blonde (strawberry blonde…not the platinum blonde she wishes) …and, as a friend points out during a discussion of the series of murders playing out in the background, it must feel nice to get picked. The alleged killer, you see, is a director. He auditions young blonde actresses and then, as the title suggests, stalks and murders them…filming his murders like a true auteur.
Stacy (Samantha Carroll) is a young actress who doesn’t get picked very often. Struggling to make her way as an actress, Stacy gets a bit of good luck when her more successful friend Josie (Elle Chapman) hands her an opportunity. Too busy to take the job…Sophie tells Stacy they’ll love her for it. This could be the break that Stacy has been waiting for. Or…it could be a way to end up atop a serial killer’s hit list. But hey…a job’s a job, right?
The bulk of Young Blondes, Stalked and Murdered involves watching Stacy live her life as a struggling actress. From line readings in the mirror to awkward auditions. The murders are the talk of the town. Especially among Stacy’s friend group seemingly entirely comprised of young blonde actresses. Aside from some cutaways to Sophie…the entirety of Young Blondes, Stalked and Murdered is spent with Stacy’s day to day life.
A life that could change for the better…or much, much worse following her meeting with Sacha (Zachary Grant). This is the meeting that Josie passed on. Stacy jumps at the chance. She spends the day with Sacha doing acting exercises. When he abruptly ends the meeting…she worries that she isn’t going to get the work. “I’ll be seeing you”, he repeatedly assures her. It’s a clever thing. Filling Stacy with hope while leaving the obvious issue right there in the open.
There isn’t much to Young Blondes, Stalked and Murdered…but what’s here works very well. Carroll carries the movie. She spends much of it on screen by herself. The loneliness that comes with being the one who isn’t picked. A problem that might finally be coming to a head. One way or another.
Young Blondes, Stalked and Murdered builds to an appropriately devastating conclusion. An ending that makes the, at times, purposeful mundaneness of the story worth watching. It’s so hard out there for a young actress that risking your life for a shot is a worthy option to the alternative. The goal is to end up in a director’s film, after all. Whether that be your big break…or a cameo before death. Anything is better than being the one who isn’t picked.
Scare Value
Young Blondes, Stalked and Murdered isn’t going to give you exactly what you expect it to. Essentially, it’s a character study on the hardships of breaking into the film industry…with the threat of a serial killer looming just out of frame. The horror of this movie isn’t becoming a target…it’s not getting noticed in the first place.
