The Nun review.
It’s been five years since the release of The Nun. It stands as the oldest chronological story set in The Conjuring Universe…and the highest grossing movie in the entire series. With a sequel set to his theaters tomorrow…it’s time for a look back.
Classic movie reviews will contain spoilers.
The Nun
Directed by Corin Hardy
Screenplay by Gary Dauberman
Starring Taissa Farmiga, Demián Bichir, Jonas Bloquet, Bonnie Aarons, Ingrid Bisu, Charlotte Hope, Sandra Teles and Jack Falk
The Nun Review
The Nun marks the earliest story in the sprawling Conjuring Universe. Unfortunately, that little nugget of information is about as interesting as the movie gets. A one-note story that seemingly exists solely to cash in on the marketable image of its antagonist. That, at least, worked out for the studio. The Conjuring Universe sits as the highest grossing horror franchise in history. The Nun sits atop that Universe as its highest grossing individual installment. And, perhaps, its lowest quality entry.
That last bit is arguable. The Conjuring Universe is no stranger to releasing substandard films. The first Annabelle movie is a rough one as well. That spinoff series redeemed itself with two higher quality sequels. That’s something that The Nun will look today with the upcoming release of its own sequel. It’s a potentially good sign that it has been five years between films. You’d have expected Warner Bros. to rush a second movie into production following the success of the original. Hopefully they used the extra time to figure out what movies set in this corner of the Conjuring Universe should be. Five years ago…they had absolutely no idea.
The Nun is a spinoff from The Conjuring 2. After the success of spinning the Annabelle doll from The Conjuring into its own franchise…it only made sense to try again. It’s telling that the first cracks at highlighting villains in their own stories failed on a creative level. Cash-ins often lack the creativity and soul of the stories from which they originate. This movie wasn’t born out of a need to tell a story…it exists because someone thought it would make money. They were right, of course. But we don’t look at films solely through the lens of the profits they make for their studios.
Unfortunately, there isn’t that much to this movie. Some boring lore…some religious jibber jabber…a lot of slowly walking around. That’s about the whole of it. If it wasn’t for the effectiveness of the titular antagonist’s imagery…The Nun would have nothing going for it. The story follows Sister Irene (Taissa Farmiga) and Father Burke (Demián Bicher) …and a guy named Frenchie or Maurice or something (Jonas Bloquet) …as they investigate the suicide of a nun in Romania. We understand why she did this right away…then wait a long time for the characters to catch up.
It’s all about the demon Valak. The demon wants to possess someone and can only be thwarted by the blood of Jesus. So…yeah. That’s what they went with. Throw in an hour and a half of people slowly walking around in darkness while visions of a creepy nun appear…and you’ve made the highest grossing movie in the series. There’s nothing happening in The Nun that Mike Flanagan wasn’t doing far better in The Haunting of Hill House the same year. And when that Netflix hit mini-series does it…it’s just the cherry on top of a great story…not the entirety of it.
So, what went wrong? For starters…it’s slow. What it thinks is atmosphere is just a haze of boredom. Being ahead of the characters in the story is tough to make exciting…and The Nun never figures out how to do so. It’s an investigative horror story where you’ve already completed the investigation and there isn’t anything interesting left to discover. Just more dark hallways.
Its one note scares wear thin quickly. This is something that was clearly known by the time the film was in the post-production process. In lieu of frights…the movie continually cranks up the score. It gets loud when it wants you to react…because the story and visuals aren’t going to do it. It’s more annoying than effective. A lazy way to go for scares which results in an awful sound design. Most of the movie is too quiet…trying to artificially draw you into a story with no pull. THEN THINGS GET INCREDIBLY LOUD BECAUSE YOU ARE SUPPOSED TO JUMP NOW. Of all the problems with The Nun…the sound design ranks near the top.
After long stretches of tedious investigation…the story finally provides the potential for effective horror. Sister Irene (whose subplot is that she has yet to take her vows…something every character in the movie comments on and finds way more interesting than they should) must spend the night in the doomed Abbey. This is where the tricks should start paying off. Instead, Irene walks around a boring haunted house where the stakes feel so low that it’s impossible to care.
Tack on some archival footage to remind you of a better movie and a twist to promise a continuing story…and you’ve seen everything that The Nun has to offer. It’s disappointing but not unexpected. As the Annabelle off-shoot series proved…you can come back from a bad first step. We’ll see if The Nun II does so tomorrow. It would be hard to do worse.
Scare Value
The Conjuring series has had its fair share of box office successes. Rarely has the hit movie been so…boring. Religious horror is almost always an uphill battle to provide excitement…but The Nun manages to be more boring than church to an agnostic. The one thing it has in its favor is that the titular character cuts a strikingly effective horror image. A camera set up in a hallway catching fleeting glimpses of her would have made for a more effective, and no less boring, horror movie.
1.5/5
The Nun Links
Streaming on Max
Rent/Buy on VOD from Vudu and Amazon
Buy on 4K/Blu-Ray from Amazon
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