The Mean One review.
Christmas themed horror movies have a spotty history at best. The ones that seem to claim legendary status among hardcore horror fans tend to be on the sillier side. Black Christmas might get the acclaim…but movies like Silent Night, Deadly Night Part 2 garner the seasonal rewatch. There’s a lesson there about what fans of these movies truly want to find under the tree come holiday season. The Mean One has learned that lesson.
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The Mean One
Directed by Steven LaMorte
Written by Finn Kobler and Flip Kobler
Starring David Howard Thornton, Krystie Martin, Chase Mullins and Amy Schumacher
The Mean One Review
We’re going to change up the style you’re used to
And try something different with this movie review
The content discussed should explain the reason
Perhaps a bit wacky, but…hey…tis the season
So, let’s look at a movie that aims to be fun
The unlicensed Grinch parody called The Mean One
The Kobler’s have written a warped Dr. Seuss
By letting his character really cut loose
“But who will direct?” they asked with a sigh
Steven LaMorte then said “I’m your guy”
They filled up the cast and they filled out the crew
The story’s lead character would be Cindy…well…you know who
A Grinch slasher movie would be quite a sight
But copyright laws say you don’t have the right
How could they make their crazed adaptation?
By avoiding names, places and any re-creation
The production began quite merrily
Thanks to the loose rules that surround parody
Our movie begins with a twist on the story
Instead of bringing back Christmas it gets pretty gory
The Mean One kills Cindy’s mother and leaves her there crying
No one believes Cindy’s story…they all think she’s lying
The town puts away Christmas after that yuletide slaughter
Year’s later, Cindy’s father returns to town with his daughter
He meets the same fate as his wife did before
Town officials dismiss it to avoid an uproar
Cindy believes the monster resides in the hills
The police still do nothing despite all of his kills
She realized the monster attacks Christmas cheer
And loads up with decorations to beckon him near
The plot of The Mean One is simple yet clever
There are some things that could be better, however
Digital blood is used in most places
Except for the wounds already on faces
Kills happen offscreen too often for my liking
Practical effects would have been much more striking
These choices exist because of the budget
Keep that in mind when you watch it and judge it
The intent was in place to provide something merry
A fun take on a classic…more bloody than scary
The actors have fun with their roles in the action
The scale of the production keeps it from gaining full traction
If a Christmas time murder movie has your attention
You can watch The Mean One without apprehension
It’s made with a love of the story it riffs
And can be forgiven for one or two whiffs
The story concludes with a brilliant end to the fight
Definitely something Dr. Seuss wouldn’t write
The Mean One wins you over by the time that it’s done
A little holiday horror never hurt anyone
If only the kills measured up to the best
While David Howard Thornton played this killer with zest
It still all totals up to a fine use of your time
Now if you’ll excuse me…I’m all out of words that sound like other words.
Scare Value
The Mean One is at its best when it explores the themes of the story it parodies. Why The Mean One reappears after decades and who he kills is a clever take on the material. An overuse of digital effects holds back the kill scenes. A lot of violence happens offscreen with a digital blood splatter. It’s not ideal…but likely a necessary compromise given the budget. What works in The Mean One is the warped spirit of the original text on display. And it has a brilliant ending.
2.5/5
A preview screener was provided by Sleight of Hand Productions. Special thanks to Ted Geoghegan.
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The Mean One Trailer
If you enjoyed this review of The Mean One, check out some other Christmas horror reviews: Black Christmas, Adult Swim Yule Log
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