Tell Me a Creepy Story review
Tell Me a Creepy Story is a horror anthology that rids itself of a framing device to deliver four unconnected stories. The four short stories range from pretty good to…well…pretty good. It adds up to watchable…but unmemorable.
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Tell Me a Creepy Story
Directed by Samuel Dawe, Félix Dobaire, Stuart Graham, Paul Holbrook and Luke Konopasky
Written by Samuel Dawe, Félix Dobaire, Paul Holbrook and Luke Konopasky
Starring Conleth Hill, Una Kavanagh, Paul Kennedy, Simon Miller and Laura Bayston
Tell Me a Creepy Story Review
Do you remember that part of Forgetting Sarah Marshall where Paul Rudd’s surf instructor tries to get Peter to pop up on the surfboard? He repeatedly tells him to “do less” until Peter is just laying on the surfboard motionless and Paul Rudd says “well…you have to do more than that”? Tell Me a Creepy Story does away with the framing story completely. And now I find myself in a similar position to Paul Rudd’s character. I have spent every horror anthology review criticizing those framing stories. They’re almost always the weakest aspect of anthologies, you see. I begged them all to “do less”. Now I look at Tell Me a Creepy Story and say “well…you have to do more than that”. Damn you for putting me in this position.
It’s not that framing stories aren’t important…it’s that they’re generally such a waste of time. There are clever ways to connect seemingly unconnected stories. Trick ‘r Treat all takes place in the same town. Southbound has its segments (once literally) run into each other. These are exciting ways to get into new narratives and feel organic. Mostly though, we just get the reason people are watching tapes or telling stories. Usually, it feels repetitive at best and excruciatingly long at worst. But Tell Me a Creepy Story proves that you do need to do something. Without it you aren’t really watching a movie. You’re watching a collection of short films that you can turn off at any time because there’s nothing holding them together.
That being said…I would still rather watch four unconnected shorts with no stated reason for their existence than another poorly thought-out excuse tacked on later. You won’t roll your eyes at the lack of something…but it does make the package feel incomplete. Or, more accurately stated, not like a package at all. So, I will, begrudgingly, adapt my “no more framing stories” edict to read “if you can’t do something well…than do as little as possible. But do something”.
Now that this business is behind us…let’s get to the short films that comprise Tell Me a Scary Story. Ranked, as always, from worst to best.
4. Hungry Joe (segment 1)
Hungry Joe Don’t take any of these stories positioning within the rankings as much of a judgment. The worst segment here is pretty good. So is the best segment. It’s a good news/bad news situation. Most anthologies have a section that drags down the average. Most anthologies also have a section that stands out. Tell Me a Creepy Story has neither.
Hungry Joe is the story of a mother and her son that cannot stop eating. From the time he is a baby until he is fully grown. He doesn’t get fat or sick or anything like that. He just…eats. The most interesting thing about the setup is the toll it takes on the mother. Unfortunately, Hungry Joe doesn’t follow those interesting ideas too far and ends up in the exact place that you expect that it will when the story begins. The first segment of the film…and the first of three straight shorts with very little dialog.
3. Myosotis (segment 2)
The second short in Tell Me a Creepy Story starts off with a bang. Like the first segment…very little dialog follows…but the quick start gives it a bit more momentum that Hungry Joe. A beekeeper accidentally kills his wife and instead of contacting authorities…he decides to bury her in the vegetable garden. It’s a solid foundation to build a short horror story on. It too ends up pretty much where you expect it too…but it has some fun along the way. If nothing else, you’ll probably be persuaded to check your vegetables extra thoroughly.
2. The Good Word (segment 4)
Tell Me a Creepy Story may not save its best for last…but it does save almost all its words. Following three largely silent stories…The Good Word is almost fully comprised of a conversation. The story of a murderous preacher who arrives is invited into a couple’s home to spread the good word. While not a lot happens in this story until the end…it works as a short story focused on waiting for the shoe to drop. You know it’s going to turn violent at some point…you just aren’t sure when.
1. Red Water (segment 3)
Tell Me a Creepy Story’s penultimate chapter is easily its most interesting. It may also be its most entertaining. That’s enough to earn it the top spot in the ranking…but, as mentioned, this anthology doesn’t have a standout segment. Red Water gets close. It takes swings that are always interesting but never make quite the impression that they should. That’s because a lot of it is just kind of weird. Effective…but unexplainable. The story revolves around a young woman home alone with a broken sink. Over the course of the story strangers come and go…appearing out of nowhere and disappearing. It will grab your attention…but it leaves you wondering what you just watched.
Scare Value
For most of Tell Me a Creepy Story I thought the purpose was to feature short horror stories with little dialog. Then the fourth segment featured wall to wall talking. It left me unsure of what the purpose of the movie was. I’ll never knock an anthology for doing away with a framing story…but if you aren’t fitting everything into one narrative you do need at least one standout segment to elevate the package. Tell Me a Creepy Story doesn’t have one. But it also doesn’t have a dud.
2.5/5
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Tell Me a Creepy Story Trailer
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