Skillhouse review
Beware: They’re letting bad influencer horror movies into theaters now.
New movie reviews will not contain spoilers.
Skillhouse
Directed by Josh Stolberg
Written by Josh Stolberg
Starring Neal McDonough, 50 Cent, Caitlin Carmichael, Leah Pipes, John DeLuca, Paige VanZant, Bryce Hall and Ivan Leung
Skillhouse Review
If you’ve followed along with my ongoing war with bad influencer horror movies…you’ll pretty much understand how this review is going to go. The same complaints found in so many of this unwanted subgenre of horror are present in Skillhouse. Vapid two dimensional characters…bad dialog…boring twists. These have become hallmarks of bad influencer horror movies and Skillhouse presents them in spades. The most worrying aspect this time around is that Fathom chose to put it in theaters around the country. At least the other bad influencer horror movies had the shame to bury themselves on Tubi or Amazon VOD for $1.99 to rent.
Before we embark on this review together, which is the only way we can survive it, I want to make a point about influencer horror movies. They aren’t all bad. I know that I make it sound like they are…but there’s a reason for that. Many people are doing interesting things with the character archetype within horror. Sissy, Influencer and The Rebrand utilize influencer characters wonderfully. For every one of those, however, we are damned with a No Filter, Clickbait: Unfollowed or our old friend Deinfluencer. In my review of Deinfluencer I wrote that the concept (get likes or be killed) had potential…but that particular story lacked the ability to fully use it. That turned out to be a monkey’s paw curse with independent productions Hell bent on proving my theory wrong. Maybe the concept just doesn’t work.
Except…sometimes it almost, kind of, does. Amp House Massacre isn’t a great movie by any stretch…but it wasn’t bad. It involved a group of influencers trapped inside a mansion being picked off by a masked killer. Skillhouse is like the bastard lovechild of Amp House Massacre and Deinfluencer. If you mashed their plots together…this is what you’d end up with. This time around, ten influencers are trapped inside a mansion and forced to get likes by a masked killer or be killed. See…it’s the exact plot of Deinfluencer mixed with Amp House Massacre. It gives Deinfluencer the scope that story could have used…but strips out the personal revenge plot that made Amp House Massacre work better than the rest. The result is, basically, crap.
I guess the big idea with Skillhouse is that it casts an actual influencer in the lead role of the movie. Or so writer/director Josh Stolberg tells us before the movie begins. He also may have claimed this was the first influencer horror movie though…so believe him at your own risk. Bryce Hall is the actor/media personality in question. If you know who that is…I’m excited for you. He’s mostly fine, to be honest. Until the story demands more of him than he’s technically capable of…but he’s giving it a good try either way. Carter (Hall) is one of the ten influencers tasked with surviving the game. Only one of the ten can “win”. Carter is the only one with a personal stake in the matter. The masked man killed his sister in the opening scene of the movie.
Skillhouse was shot at Sway House…something they’re so proud of that it receives an opening credit in the movie. Most of the cast doesn’t get one…but the house does. Also receiving an opening credit is Neal McDonough…an accomplished actor who must have lost a bet with one of the producers. He shows up in the second half of the film and looks like he had fun with it at least. Or he could be acting. Hard to tell when everyone else is struggling to fill out their paper thin characters. 50 Cent also briefly appears a few times. I think he sued to keep Skillhouse from being released…or maybe just to try and extort some money. That’s probably a more interesting story than Stolberg cooks up here. Whatever the reason 50 Cent tried to stop the film…he’s the least of its problems.
There’s some decent gore here and there. Sometimes they just cut to black on kills…sometimes they have a surprisingly effective scene of acid burning flesh. It’s a mixed bag…but there’s enough blood to hold up that end of the horror bargain. What there isn’t, however, is one character worth caring about. Influencer horror likes to pick off influencers because they’re easily disliked. They expose them as phonies or just plain evil. Skillhouse is too lazy to commit to even that basic level of characterization. Sure, a couple of people are morally questionable while trapped in a battle to survive…but there’s nothing to connect to with anyone here.
The Skillhouse plot summary on IMDB reads: A dark satire of social media and influencer culture, unflinching take on fame and what new celebrities are willing to do to attain it. This entire premise is a lie. Skillhouse doesn’t even scratch the surface on these already flimsy topics. It’s just ten unmemorable characters trying to get likes so they aren’t killed next. That’s a story about what people will do to survive…not to be famous. Even fellow bad influencer horror movies try to satirize the culture at least a little. Skillhouse has nothing to say. It’s somewhat surprising given that Stolberg shares a writing credit on Saw X’s strong screenplay.
Skillhouse struggles to find meaning in what it’s doing. The little twists it throws in are too obvious to be effective. Dialog is rough from the get-go. Outside of a couple of fun kills scenes…there isn’t much here. There are far better ways to get your splatter kill on than sitting through another rough outing with a bad influencer horror movie. Maybe they should have listened to 50 Cent.
Scare Value
If you’ve seen a bad influencer horror movie…Skillhouse has nothing new for you. If you’ve managed to avoid the busy subgenre count yourselves lucky and let this one pass as well. Some decent gore can’t make up for two dimensional characters, predictable twists and a script full of rough dialog. Skillhouse may not be the worst influencer horror movie we’ve seen…but it’s close enough.
1.5/5
Skillhouse Link
Buy tickets on Fandango
