Santa Isn’t Real review.
Santa slasher movies are a standard of holiday horror. Rarely has the word standard been more appropriate than with Santa Isn’t Real.
New movie reviews will not contain spoilers.
Santa Isn’t Real
Directed by Zac Locke
Written by Zac Locke
Starring Kaya Coleman, Scarlett Sperduto, Trey Anderson, Cissy Ly, David Mitchum Brown, Dana Millican and Michelle Damis
Santa Isn’t Real Review
The Santa slasher is a staple of holiday horror. In the last year alone we’ve seen an animatronic Santa, a werewolf Santa, and a Frankenstein Santa. Santa Isn’t Real gives us a possible real Santa wearing a…Santa mask…for some reason. It asks the question…Is Santa real? Perhaps it answers that question right in the title. Perhaps it doesn’t. Either way…someone in a Santa costume is a on the hunt for people to kill.
Okay…so the movie pretty much answers the Santa question in its opening moments. Santa magically comes down a chimney. It’s probably the most fun that Santa Isn’t Real ever gets. Seeing those little legs sliding into frame is pretty awesome. Santa has come to attack Nikki (Kaya Coleman) for reasons I don’t recall ever getting from the story. She survives…but spends the next year in a coma. Conveniently…she wakes up in time for Christmas.
Everyone believes that Nikki had attempted suicide. Her story of Santa Claus attacking her doesn’t do much to help her cause. A lot has changed since the Santa attack. Nikki’s boyfriend Nathan (Trey Anderson) and best friend Jess (Scarlett Sperduto) have become closer with Nikki out of commission. How close is obvious from the start…but Nikki doesn’t discover that they’re together for a little while. Thankfully, they don’t keep it a secret for too long.
The three head to a cabin in the woods for the holidays with their friend MJ (Cissy Ly). Nathan and Jess have lied to her about their relationship…but Nikki catches them in the act. She ends up handling it pretty well, all things considered. The group ends up stormed in for the weekend. That proves troublesome when Santa arrives at the cabin.
MJ has her own story about Santa in the past. It doesn’t involve attempted murder…but she is convinced that Santa is real. Jess and Nathan aren’t as easily convinced. Nikki disappears before any of the action gets going. And here is where you’ve probably already figured out where Santa Isn’t Real is going. There are no other characters involved…aside from one that we’ll get to in a moment. It’s three characters running around while Santa is after them. Everyone makes it to the climax…which makes for a long time where nothing really happens.
That other character is a priest that we briefly meet late in the story. In the oddest choice in a movie full of odd choices…there is a lot of religious discussion in Santa Isn’t Real. From comparing Jesus to imaginary characters to pointing out Santa and Satan have the same letters to blaming Santa for the ruination of the true meaning of the holiday…there are some oddly specific gripes in the script. None of it feels natural. Then again…this is a movie where we are supposed to accept a killer Santa is wearing a Santa mask.
The good news is that Santa Isn’t Real manages to not be overwhelmed by Nikki’s trauma. It’s there…but never burrows far beneath the surface. You might think that’s a negative…but the last thing you really want in a Santa slasher movie is a detour into trauma town. Despite the slow rolling and obvious twist…Santa Isn’t Real manages to have a fun third act. Maybe a fun final ten minutes is a better way to say it.
Jess and Nathan are subjected to some Santa justice. “Naughty or nice” style. Which would have been far more interesting if the discussion about the nature of their relationship had been explored better. Was what they did wrong? They believed that Nikki was gone and only had each other to get through their sorrow.
On the other hand, they saw fit to lie to Nikki when she comes out of her coma…so they clearly believe it isn’t on the up and up. The movie mentions these things…but largely brushes past how the characters feel about them. While the naughty or nice inspection leads to the most fun the movie has…it doesn’t really settle anything on the appropriate relationship or not front.
Basically, and we say this every time, you know what you’re getting into with a slasher movie called Santa Isn’t Real. There’s just…less of it than you’d hope. Performances are surprisingly strong despite a script that has a lot of oddities to navigate. It also has a great final image. Mostly though…Santa Isn’t Real shows that Christmas slasher season isn’t always the most wonderful time of the year.
Scare Value
Santa Isn’t Real tries to buck some trends by focusing on an interesting character dynamic. Unfortunately, it becomes obvious where things are heading very quickly. There are a few moments here and there…and a strange fixation on the religion of the holiday…but it doesn’t add up to more than a passable watch.
2/5
Santa Isn’t Real Links
Rent/Buy on VOD from Vudu and Amazon
