My Bloody Valentine (2009) review.
A remake of the 1981 original of the same name…made deep in the heart of the horror remake era. My Bloody Valentine adds 3D to the mix to ensure it would stay stuck in a specific time period forever. It’s also kind of good.
Classic movie reviews will contain spoilers.
My Bloody Valentine (2009)
Directed by Patrick Lussier
Screenplay by Todd Farmer and Zane Smith
Starring Jensen Ackles, Jaime King, Kerr Smith, Edi Gathegi, Betsy Rue, Megan Boone, Tom Atkins and Kevin Thige
My Bloody Valentine (2009) Review
Once more into the remake breach, dear friends. The original, 1981, version of My Bloody Valentine has settled into life as a guilty pleasure. A near classic. The kind of slasher movie that you consider great until you watch it again and remember it doesn’t really rise above good fun. To be honest…the kind of slasher movie ripe for a remake. Not that status mattered in the post The Texas Chainsaw Massacre remake era in Hollywood. Films like the original Chain Saw, A Nightmare on Elm Street and Black Christmas didn’t need updated versions. Doing so borders on (perhaps crosses into) sacrilege. My Bloody Valentine? Sure, go ahead.
Upon its release in 2009…the remake era was in full swing. It didn’t matter whether you made a classic, a guilty pleasure or a dud…if someone thought your property had value…you were getting a remake. It’s a strategy that paid off repeatedly. Commercially more so than creatively. Lionsgate certainly made a winning bet with My Bloody Valentine (2009). They slapped 3D onto their updated version and raked in over a hundred million dollars in box office against a 14-million-dollar budget. Successes like that are what kept the remake train rolling for as long as it did.
We say this every time…but we don’t care how much money a movie made. While classic movie reviews do consider historical significance or influence…the box office receipts don’t do a thing for the quality of the film, or lack thereof. Most of the remakes released in this period were trash. That may sound harsh, but it is the kind way of putting it. Lack of creativity isn’t the sole culprit for this. The glossy sheen of the mid to late aughts combined with CGI effects that don’t hold up start these movies off with two hands tied behind their back. Compared to the masses…My Bloody Valentine (2009) is one of the better ones. It even borders on good.
The movie kicks off with two things that all horror movies need. A strong opening…and a dose of Tom Atkins. The latter plays the town sheriff before a ten-year time jump. Fear not, he remains a part of the story afterwards despite the sheriff’s role being filled by an inexplicable character choice. There are actually two time jumps in My Bloody Valentine (2009). One year after a mine collapse, suspected killer Harry Warden (Richard John Walters) awakes and goes on a murder spree. Tom (Jensen Ackles), the son of the mine owner is to blame for the collapse…but not completely for the deaths. Warden murdered everyone to conserve oxygen.
Warden’s rampage clears out a hospital and stalks a path towards Tom and his friends. His girlfriend Sarah (Jaime King), best friend Axel (Kerr Smith) and his girlfriend Irene (Betsy Rue) are partying in the mines. Warden shows up in his miner gear and continues his slaughter. Tom’s friends escape danger, but he retreats into the mine with Warden in pursuit. He survives thanks to the arrival of Sheriff Burke (Atkins) who chases Warden away. This all happens in the first fifteen minutes of My Bloody Valentine (2009).
Ten years later…Tom returns to town following his father’s death looking to sell the family mine. A lot has changed. Axel is, somehow, the new town sheriff. He’s married to Sarah…and they have a child together. Tom’s return isn’t exactly celebrated by anyone in the town. Tom isn’t the only one who has returned to Harmony…the killer miner is back! Irene gets hers almost immediately. This causes some confusion in town as Burke claims to have killed and buried Harry Warden years earlier.
Axel suspects his old friend Tom is behind things. The timing of the miner’s return is too obvious to be a coincidence. Of course, Axel could just be projecting this onto Tom given his history with Sarah. Axel isn’t the most trustworthy character himself. He’s cheating on his wife with her own young employee. Tom’s return complicates their relationship even further. For his part, Tom believes he is being framed for the murders. It can’t be him…he’s had his own run-ins with the murderous miner. Eventually, he doesn’t think the miner is Harry Warden either.
My Bloody Valentine (2009) plays out the early part of the story as you’d expect. It features some fun kills along the way. A shovel through the mouth that cuts a head in half here…a curb stomp into a pickaxe there. The 3D effects are long gone for most viewers…but the moments where its being exploited remain. For what it’s worth…they were probably fun for the time. Now they just kind of stick out as awkward reminders. It’s a little too long and there are also some moments of terrible sound design to look out for…but it’s a mostly competent production.
What the movie chooses to innovate on is the reveal of its killer. Tom is right…it wasn’t Harry Warden. Unbeknownst to him…he is the killer. A split personality where he honestly believed he was seeing the miner…even fighting with him at points. While it is a largely unearned twist…it is, at least, an interesting one. It plays with tropes in a way that works well. The unfaithful, shady sheriff is right. The returning hero is not what he seems. You’d be forgiven for assuming that Tom and Sarah would ride off into the sunset in the end. That’s what most of these stories do. Or, at least, did at the time.
It’s not enough to elevate My Bloody Valentine (2009) to classic status by any means. What it does do, however, is place it as one of the more interesting efforts of the remake era. It’s bloody and a little crazy. Just enough relationship drama to be interesting. The twist works enough. Unfortunately, there isn’t much of an ending here. The three leads survive and set off for a future that we never see the continuation of. Not that this movie demanded a sequel (though the box office says otherwise) …more that the story lacks a conclusion. Fifteen years after its release, it stands as more of an oddity than anything. Though, for its place in the era of remakes, an almost good oddity.
Scare Value
For the remake era of horror…My Bloody Valentine (2009) is a good movie. It tries harder than many of its counterparts. You don’t want to judge these movies on a curve…but it is worth pointing out that, in the context of the era of horror that it came from, this is a pretty good movie. A lot has changed in the fifteen years since its release…but its attempt at subverting the hero character and some bloody fun make it worth a watch.
2.5/5
My Bloody Valentine (2009) Links
Streaming on Tubi
Rent/Buy on VOD from Vudu and Amazon
Buy on Blu-Ray from Amazon
