The Monster Squad review.
We’ve talked about gateway horror movies recently with both My Best Friend’s Exorcism and Spirit Halloween. Today we’re going to dive into one of the best gateway horror movies ever made…with The Monster Squad review. Why does this movie work so well? Why does it still hold up to this day? Does Wolf Man, in fact, got nards?
Classic movie reviews will contain spoilers.
Spoiler…Wolf Man’s got nards.
The Monster Squad
Directed by Fred Dekker
Written by Shane Black and Fred Dekker
Starring Andrew Gower, Robby Kiger, Brent Chalem, Ryan Lambert, Michael Faustino and Ashley Bank
The Monster Squad Review
The Monster Squad is better than The Goonies. Direct your anger somewhere else because I don’t care. I was one of those kids who grew up having to hear about The Goonies all the time while sitting quietly knowing I’d seen a more entertaining movie in the same vein. My dissenting opinion would be brought up on occasion. It was shot down enough to just let people enjoy their truffle shuffle in peace. I will be silent no longer. While The Goonies ‘R’ Good Enough…The Monster Squad is bitchin’.
This movie has everything a kid in the 80s could ask for. A collection of classic monsters come to a town in search of a magical amulet. The amulet has the power to expel monsters from the world. It can only be destroyed once every hundred years and, you won’t believe this, that day is upon us. The adults are befuddled by these monster related occurrences. Only a rag tag group of monster truthers can save the day. They just happen to be children.
These are some of the best monsters in the business. Stan Winston did the creature design, so you know it’s going to be awesome. Beyond the incredible look of the monsters, the script and actors go all out to give us great incarnations of popular favorites. The Mummy and Gill-Man (Creature from the Black Lagoon without the rights) get shortchanged on character development. Because…you know…they can’t talk. They do get to have some of the most fun and memorable scenes in the movie though. “Mummy came in my house” and “Creature stole my twinkie” are theirs. Gill-Man’s death gives us the iconic “My name…is Horace” line.
The big three here are Dracula, Frankenstein’s Monster and the Wolf-Man. Dracula exudes a real menace. He has some fantastic scenes. Near the film’s climax he walks down the street taking out police officer after police officer never taking his eyes off our heroes. He also blows things (and a person) up with dynamite. He’s the main villain of the movie and assembles all the monsters for their quest.
Wolf-Man gets a perfectly tragic arc in The Monster Squad. The human part of him doesn’t want anything to do with Dracula and his plot. He tries to get the police to lock him up before he turns. He is shot while in human form, but that doesn’t work. As we learn, only a silver bullet can kill a werewolf. He’s even blown up with dynamite and his body just puts itself back together. Only one way to kill a werewolf. When a silver bullet finally pierces his skin, he reverts to human form and says “thank you” before finally finding peace. It’s deep stuff for a kid’s movie about a magical amulet.
The real star of the group is Frankenstein’s Monster. Going with an even more sensitive portrayal than Boris Karloff does in Frankenstein. He’s able to utter words like in Bride of Frankenstein. A particularly moving scene occurs when he sees a Halloween mask of his face and breaks down at the realization that he is “ugly”. Again…an excellent level of depth you just don’t expect. He befriends the group of kids and saves them from Dracula in the end. Unfortunately, he is sucked into the vortex created to send the monsters away. He goes away happy to have finally found the acceptance and friendship he’s always craved.
The kids are all excellent here. They joke and talk like real people. They’re brave in the face of their fears. They have relatable problems with bullies and parents. They stick together through the worst of times. You couldn’t ask for a more likable group to follow. Yes…I mean The Goonies.
The Monster Squad pulls of the hard trick of being as funny for kids as it is for adults. Funny, natural dialog is on display throughout the film. The number of stories and gags paid off is incredible. Shane Black and Fred Dekker crafted a clever script with so many memorable moments. The Monster Squad would have been a fun watch even without a tightly crafted plot that unfolds with perfect pace. But they did that too. They even give us an elite readying for war montage set to the greatest 80’s song you’ve never heard.
For kids, The Monster Squad works as a fantastic gateway into horror movies. You have classic monsters with just the right amount of menace. There are laughs aplenty for kids too. Lessons about friendship, courage and not judging people on how they look effortlessly and sweetly fit right into the narrative. A group of kids teaming up to battle a group of legendary monsters? It’s a dream scenario.
For adults, The Monster Squad is just a damn fun movie. There’s depth to the characters and story. Plenty of laughs for adults here too. The thrill ride of the picture still holds up to this day and anyone with an appreciation for creature design will be in heaven. There are so many moments, both big and small, to enjoy in The Monster Squad that you can watch it over and over and never tire of it. How do I know this? I’m in the goddamned club, aren’t I?
Meeting adjourned.
Scare Value
Alright, so this Monster Squad review might be a bit biased. So what? The Monster Squad has lasted the test of time because it treats its monsters, heroes and viewers with total respect. These are flat out great versions of the classic monsters. The kids are intelligent, bold and relatable. Viewers get a fun story, with a sublime blend of adult and child humor. Kids can get their first taste of danger in a movie while riding alongside brave characters their own age. Adults should enjoy the setups and payoffs of stories and jokes littered throughout the movie. It’s just an out and out winner.
4.5/5
