Here For Blood review.
A pro wrestler turned babysitter fends off a deadly cult in one of the most fun movies of the year.
New movie reviews will not contain spoilers. Here For Blood comes to theaters, VOD and the Screambox streaming service February 9.
Here For Blood
Directed by Daniel Turres
Written by James Roberts
Starring Shawn Roberts, Maya Misaljevic, Joelle Farrow, Tara Spencer-Nairn, Michael Therriault, Kelly Penner and Jesse Buck
Here For Blood Review
“Struggling to make ends meet, a rowdy pro wrestler agrees to babysit a precocious 10-year-old girl. What starts off as a laid-back night of junk food and video games quickly spirals into bloody chaos as the secluded home is invaded by a cult of mask-wearing maniacs.”
That is the ploy summary for Here for Blood, debuting in theaters, on Screambox and via Video on Demand February 9th. If you are in a certain age bracket the words “pro wrestler turned babysitter” may evoke memories of the Hulk Hogan bomb Mr. Nanny. Those probably aren’t happy memories. You can put any lingering fears born from watching the Hulkster pirouette in a tutu back into the dark recesses of your mind. Here for Blood is pro wrestler babysitter done right.
As a lifelong wrestling fan my concern was less tutu related and more centered on how movies generally portray wrestlers. Sure, there is some comedy in watching a big guy perform wrestling maneuvers on bad guys…but that fun would wear thin quickly. Here for Blood isn’t interested in easy tropes for a fleeting laugh. It presents a fully formed character first…he just happens to be able to drop an elbow or ten.
Not taking the easy way out is the calling card of Here for Blood. It goes the extra mile in every respect. The result is a wildly entertaining horror-comedy with memorable characters and great practical effects. This is a funny movie. One that isn’t afraid to get its hands dirty. The kind of movie destined to become a cult classic. A movie that deserves to be seen with a crowd of people. It’s a guaranteed good time.
Pro wrestler Tom O’Bannon (Shawn Roberts) is struggling to make ends meat in his career. His girlfriend Phoebe (Joelle Farrow) has a well-paying babysitting gig lined up…but has too much schoolwork to do. Tom reluctantly fills in for her…watching 10-year-old Grace (Maya Misaljevic) for the night. That turns out to be harder than he originally thought when a deadly cult sets its sights on Grace.
For lack of a better phrase…Here for Blood is a “you messed with the wrong person” story. It doesn’t go about it as you would expect, however. Tom is a big guy who can hold his own…but he isn’t portrayed as an overpowered super-hero. This isn’t John Wick. The movie understands that great babyfaces sell before the comeback. His goal is to keep Grace safe…and he takes a beating doing so.
The masked men he grapples with are full of personality too. The most distinctive of them spends most of the story running afoul of various body scarring situations. Every time he pops up on screen you know something funny is going to happen to him. Funny in a Home Alone carnage except the damage is permanent kind of way. The most memorable of the intruders looks a bit like Crow Sting circa 1997. This psychopath oozes charisma and attitude. There is also a huge bad guy to battle…because of course there is. Tom will inevitably have a showdown with each of the masked men.
These aren’t random attacks. Here for Blood creates an entire lore around its events. It ramps up some supernatural elements to provide a greater challenge…and to utilize crazier gore effects and have a bloody good time. There are twists and turns to the story that range from allegiances to a cult leader guarding a door to Hell.
Just when Tom thinks he might be getting things under control the degree of difficulty increases. Not just because of the added supernatural elements…but also the arrival of Phoebe and her friends. Introducing characters less equipped to handle the madness unfolding elevates Here for Blood to another level of fun. It goes even higher when the parents return in the middle of the chaos. Body parts on the floor, blood everywhere, their 10-year-old daughter holding a knife. Grace’s stepfather Gill (Michael Therriault) is a constant source of laughs. He makes for a terrific addition to the third act mayhem.
Here for Blood is full of blood and laughs. It’s exactly what a horror-comedy should be. It goes the extra mile with its characters, story, and effects. What could have easily been just a low budget movie about a meathead suplexing bad guys is instead one of the most entertaining movies of the year. There’s depth to everything here. Whether it be the characters, the gore, or the talking skull begging to be fed. Here for Blood has it all.
Scare Value
Here For Blood feels destined to become a cult classic. It has everything you want in a crowd-pleasing horror-comedy. Laughs are as plentiful as fun gore effects. The cast completely buys in to the tone of the film and deliver time and time again. With a simultaneous release in theaters, on streaming and on digital on demand…there is no excuse to miss out on this fun time babysitting.
4/5
Here For Blood Link
Streaming on Screambox February 9
In theaters February 9 – Fandango
Available on VOD February 9 – Vudu
Here For Blood Trailer
If you enjoyed this review of Here for Blood, check out these other new releases: Dario Argento: Panico, Lisa Frankenstein, Something Quiet, Departing Seniors, The Red Tide Massacre, Out of Darkness, Hellhounds and Trunk
