Hemet, or the Landlady Don’t Drink Tea review.
Sometimes the worst Landlords make for the best characters.
New movie reviews will not contain spoilers.
Coming to Tubi January 27
Hemet, or the Landlady Don’t Drink Tea
Directed by Tony Olmos
Written by Brian Patrick Butler
Kimberly Weinberger, Brian Patrick Butler, Aimee La Joie, Randy Davison, Merrick McCartha, Matthew Rhodes and Nick Young
Hemet, or the Landlady Don’t Drink Tea Review
Hemet, or the Landlady Don’t Drink Tea is one of the more unique movie titles you’ll come across. It’s a fitting one. Not because I have any idea why that’s the title of this film…I do not. Because the movie itself is one of the more unique movies you’ll come across as well. Strange is a word that wouldn’t feel out of place. Odd…weird…peculiar. Many other synonyms for strange that I can’t think of off the top of my head. Another word that wouldn’t feel out of place is fascinating. Hemet, or the Landlady Don’t Drink Tea is unique. You’ve never seen anything quite like it. Most importantly, no matter (or perhaps because of) whatever bizarre idea the movie throws at you next…you can’t take your eyes off it. Bizarre was another synonym. It came to me as I wrote that sentence.
How does one go about describing the plot of Hemet, or the Landlady Don’t Drink Tea? Do you begin by setting the scene of an apartment building run by an aggressively evil old lady lording her tenants need for shelter from a world gone mad with bath salt using cannibals looking to eat their legs? Do you point to the mind games played by this landlady…pitting her tenants against each other in a deadly game? Or do you ask rhetorical questions listing as many crazy pieces of Hemet, or the Landlady Don’t Drink Tea as you can think of?
Hemet, or the Landlady Don’t Drink Tea drops us into the middle of this world by introducing us to two of the tenants. They discuss the whacked out, leg eating bums…and let us know in no uncertain terms that their landlady is a monster. She quickly arrives to prove them right…evicting one for no good reason. Now is as good a time as any to discuss the landlady. Fast-talking, evil mastermind/grandmother Liz (Brian Patrick-Butler) is, in fact, played by a man in some interesting make-up. For the duration of Hemet, or the Landlady Don’t Drink Tea I wondered if there was going to be a Scooby Doo like reveal. It’s a wild choice. The make-up manages to look good and purposely bad in equal turns. Whatever the intention…the final product completely works. Allow me to explain.
Hemet, or the Landlady Don’t Drink Tea borders on deranged. Its main antagonist is perfectly suited to set that tone. She’s nearly impossible to pin down, consistently causing chaos, and is very, very funny. The mask looking facial features only add to the bonkers character that plays out before us. Liz is a preposterous woman. In a way that makes her fascinating to watch.
The complex is full of colorful personalities. Liz’s daughter Kate (Aimee La Joie) and her two children move in near the start of the story. Rosie (Kimberly Weinberger) serves as the closest thing to a protagonist that Hemet, or the Landlady Don’t Drink Tea presents. Her boyfriend Jason (Aleksander D’Avignon) returns from touring with his band to cause her some problems. Gary (Matthew Rhodes) is a conservative nightmare who has it out for hippie Howie (Pierce Wallace). Martin (Merrick McCartha) is the poor man who feels Liz’s wrath at the start of the movie. Meanwhile, Tank (Nick Young) is spying on everyone. Liz stirs the pot until people end up dismembered, dead, or…usually, both. She has the sheriff in her pocket and is in total control of everything that happens in her building. Or so she thinks.
Scare Value
Hemet, or the Landlady Don’t Drink Tea is a funny, wild time that somehow makes cannibalistic bath salt users the least of its characters’ problems. Liz is an unforgettable character who steals every scene she appears in. There’s a heaping helping of gore when the time is right. An unpredictable story with interesting characters. Unlike anything you’ve seen before.
3.5/5
Hemet, or the Landlady Don’t Drink Tea Link
Streaming on Tubi January 27
