Scare Value Award Winner – Best Actor
Haunted Mansion review.
Disney takes a second stab at making a feature film out of its Haunted Mansion attraction. They, once again, end up with a ride not worth waiting in line for.
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Haunted Mansion
Directed by Justin Simien
Screenplay by Katie Dippold
Starring LaKeith Stanfield, Tiffany Hadish, Owen Wilson, Danny DeVito, Rosario Dawson and Jamie Lee Curtis
Haunted Mansion Review
It’s been 20 years since Disney first tried its hand at a Haunted Mansion movie. The Eddie Murphy vehicle was fairly successful at the box office but was ravaged by critics. It probably holds a place in the nostalgia fueled minds of a certain generation, at least. History is likely to repeat itself with the 2023 version of Haunted Mansion. It may not be as critically maligned as its predecessor…but it is likely doomed to be a footnote in the rose-colored glasses of a new generation of first-time horror/comedy watchers.
Yes…we’re back to discussing gateway horror movies. Movies that deal with death and ghosts but are labeled “Comedy/Drama/Family” on websites like IMDB. The classifications may not matter…but they do tell the story of why the new version of Haunted Mansion doesn’t work. It’s a film full of opposing concepts. Despite dealing with heavy themes and being chalk full of CGI specters…it doesn’t aim to be spooky in the least. It’s clearly marketed to children…but is rated PG-13. For the record…I can’t, for the life of me, figure out how it earned that rating. I suppose it’s the discussion of death, of which there are many. You aren’t likely to find a less threatening movie about hundreds of dead people, however.
Let’s break this down using those IMDB classifications. Comedy? I guess. There are a couple of chuckles to be had in Haunted Mansion. Unfortunately, not enough to fill the bloated two hour run time. Drama? Surprisingly effective. There are some fine character moments throughout the story. Most notably, a poignant discussion about loss, grief, and moving on. Family? Well…it is targeted that way. Its refusal to take risks lands it in a nether realm of its own. Too afraid to be scary, too safe to feel dangerous, too long to hold the attention of the audience you’re dulling the knife for.
When Haunted Mansion isn’t completely overwhelmed by its nonthreatening ghost effects it hits on a high number of emotional beats. Ben (LaKeith Stanfield) is a recent widower. Dealing with his grief is easily the most interesting aspect of the story. Stanfield is terrific. He anchors a movie that, frankly, doesn’t deserve him. He leads a top-notch cast who all do what they can with what they’re given. Stanfield is given more opportunities to shine…and he owns them all. At its best, Haunted Mansion is a surprisingly moving story of a man who has lost his way.
Unfortunately, Haunted Mansion isn’t a movie that is at its best that often. It’s loud and repetitive. Perhaps these aspects will play better to the younger viewers. There really isn’t much in the way of comedy for that set. Just…more noise and more special effects. What we get is a screenplay that features an interesting meditation on grief and letting go…overwhelmed by its desire to be a theme park ride. It’s a credit to Stanfield that his story shines so brightly while clouded by so much junk.
Which brings us back to questioning who this movie is for. Adults will be more invested in Ben’s story and seeing a great cast work than kids will. But they’ll be annoyed by the effects laden pomp and circumstance, not to mention utter lack of frights or laughs. Kids may get enough out of the film’s cavalcade of unremarkable ghosts…but it’s a long movie whose greatest strengths might not hold their interest. Maybe “family film” means that there is something for the whole family…just not enough to recommend it to any one member. Maybe the inevitable 2043 adaptation of the ride will remember that it’s supposed to thrill.
The story has a decent set-up. Characters become (basically) trapped in the mansion once they cross the threshold. They can leave…but ghosts follow and haunt them until they return. The rules here are applied on a need basis. When someone needs to leave for a while to investigate the history of the house…they are conveniently left alone. I guess these ghosts are big fans of exposition. The first act of Haunted Mansion gives us the assembly of our main cast. Then we move into a more traditional investigative horror story. There’s nothing wrong with the story here…the execution, however, involves a lot of repetitive starts and stops.
Without its ensemble cast, Haunted Mansion would be a complete slog. There is a role in the main cast carved out for a kid who brings relatable problems for the younger audience. The resolution of the main issue is completely unearned, however. There’s no lesson to be learned…just “things work out sometimes”. Rosario Dawson, Owen Wilson, Tiffany Haddish, and Danny DeVito round out the main cast. They’re all capable of nailing their moments…and they all get too few moments to nail. Jamie Lee Curtis has an extended cameo central to the climax of the film. Jared Leto plays the lead antagonist…I guess? It’s a CGI ghost with a distorted voice. Outside of using his likeness in paintings and press clippings you’d never know Leto was involved.
Shifting hallways, moving paintings and unremarkable ghost designs make up the horror elements of Haunted Mansion. It’s not the most memorable stuff…and should be safe for younger viewers who frighten easily. You could do a lot better in the gateway horror department, however.
Scare Value
The parts of Haunted Mansion that work best are the ones that its target audience are least likely to care about. There’s plenty of ghostly effects filling the movie’s padded run time…but nothing that elicits the slightest tingle of your spine or tickle of your funny bone. Without a hint of danger to be found, Haunted Mansion is a safe watch for kids and can serve a purpose as a gateway horror film. I’m not sure it will hold their attention, however. Long and repetitive…it’s buoyed by a great ensemble cast and a surprisingly effective story about moving on.
2.5/5
Haunted Mansion Link
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