Christmas Bloody Christmas Review

Christmas Bloody Christmas review.

Joe Begos understands what people want in a Christmas slasher movie. Christmas Bloody Christmas eliminates all the waste and gets right down to Santa chopping goodness.

New movie reviews will not contain spoilers.

Christmas Bloody Christmas

Directed by Joe Begos

Written by Joe Begos

Starring Riley Dandy, Sam Delich, Abraham Benrubi and Jonah Ray

Christmas Bloody Christmas Review

Sometimes you’ll see statements in reviews like…this movie is a cross between this classic movie and this classic movie. It’s a lazy way to let the reader know what the movie is all about. I’ve seen Christmas Bloody Christmas called a cross between Silent Night, Deadly Night and The Terminator. And damn it…I couldn’t explain it better if I wrote a novel’s worth of words. Sometimes the lazy way is the only way.

A robot Santa Claus (Abraham Benrubi) goes haywire and starts murdering everyone in his path. His path is following Tori (Riley Dandy) as she tries to escape his killing spree with her friend Sam (Robbie Reynolds). An unstoppable, axe wielding, robot Santa Claus is coming to town.

We’ve seen killer Santa movies. We’ve seen killer robot movies. Joe Begos has seen them too. It’s probably why his killer robot Santa movie works so well. He is aware of what works…and more importantly, what doesn’t. Throwing out any scenes with the potential to slow down or sidetrack our killer’s mission, Christmas Bloody Christmas carries forward momentum from the first frame to the last. This is a stripped-down experience that favors thrills over narrative. It’s exactly what fans of the specific killer Santa subgenre want.

Christmas Bloody Christmas is the kind of movie that could only be made by someone who loves these kinds of movies. Begos feels no inclination to throw in extensive character backstories or simmering relationship drama. Hell, the early movie interactions between Tori and Sam feel like a mission statement for the film. We both know the score here…let’s not take anything too seriously and just have a good time together.

Christmas Bloody Christmas is that good time. A non-stop 80-minute ride. 80 minutes of trying to survive something as deadly as it is insane. There’s no pausing to discuss our feelings about what’s happening or each other. No quiet moments to reflect on the loss of someone you care about. No prolonged dying monologues about hope or survival. There’s a robot Santa with an axe and he’s trying to kill you.

Admittedly, that won’t appeal to everyone. Who it will appeal to is anyone who reads that paragraph and thinks, “finally”. If that’s you…Begos has you covered. He’s not interested in what appeals to everyone. He’s seen iterations of this type of movie repeatedly fail because they were made trying to appeal to everyone. Christmas Bloody Christmas is smart enough to understand that it only needs to appeal to the people who want to watch a robot Santa slaughter people. Finally.

Riley is a strong final girl (even if her movie opinions leave a lot to be desired). She’s likable, with strength and conviction. She has a will to survive that proves as unstoppable as the robot chasing her. Riley Dandy does a lot of running, hiding and yelling all while caked in blood…and she does it with total commitment.

The killer Santa is mostly silent, aside from the preprogrammed robot Santa voice it occasionally flips on. He’s relentless and brutal. The power of being a robot makes slicing people in half as easy as bringing down the axe one time. He can take a beating and keep coming for more.

Christmas Bloody Christmas uses practical effects to provide some fun kills and good gore. Scenes are shadowed in neon coloring to add some stylish flair to the proceedings. It’s always noticeable but never overwhelming.

Christmas Bloody Christmas is a fast-paced Christmas themed slasher that fans of that specific concept won’t be disappointed with. It’s a fun ride through a snowy night. It doesn’t add any unnecessary beats or subplots to weight it down. If you are in the mood for a little holiday horror that wisely focuses solely on the fun parts…Christmas Bloody Christmas is your kind of movie.

Scare Value

Christmas Bloody Christmas removes all the fat that bogs down B-movie slashers and just concentrates on the business at hand. There’s a robot Santa with an axe…and he thinks everyone has been very naughty. If you need your movies to have character development, revealing back stories and subplots…look elsewhere this holiday season. If you want to see a robot Santa hack his way through town stalking a final girl…Joe Begos has a present for you.

3.5/5