Children of the Corn (2023) review.
The corn kids are back for an eleventh feature length adventure. You already know what you’re going to get at this point. Children of the Corn (2023) gives you exactly that.
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Children of the Corn (2023)
Directed by Kurt Wimmer
Written by Kurt Wimmer
Starring Elena Kampouris, Kate Moyer, Callan Mulvey and Bruce Spence
Children of the Corn (2023) Review
This is the eleventh feature length corn kids movie. Understand that this franchise isn’t based on a continuing saga with multiple chapters. Children of the Corn was a short story that Stephen King originally published in Penthouse. The day is coming when we will have more movies based on it than pages of original text. And yet…here we are…returning once again to the cornfield for reasons that are anybody’s guess.
You know the plot of Children of the Corn by now. Something in the corn makes kids go crazy and they kill all the adults in town. The 2023 version of the movie has little variation on the premise. Whereas the original 1984 adaptation saw an outsider couple dealing with the aftermath of a town overrun by corn kids…Children of the Corn (2023) on the kids initial overtaking of the town. That sounds more fun than it is.
Let’s get to something positive right away about Children of the Corn (2023). I’ve seen the rotten tomatoes score and the accompanying blurbs…so let’s tackle it head on. This isn’t that bad of a movie. It’s a wholly unnecessary one, sure…but it isn’t a boring, unwatchable mess. Its biggest issue is that we’ve seen this so many times already. And that, let’s face it…it’s not that great of a story to begin with.
You might have a soft spot in your heart for the original movie. You might even have watched the Naomi Watts led sequel so many times on Cinemax growing up that you consider it comfort food. But let’s call it like it is. There’s never been anything better than a decent Children of the Corn movie. There simply isn’t that interesting of a story here. How it spawned eleven entries between sequels and remakes is one of life’s great mysteries.
Horror in particular has so many types of bad movies that you need to be specific about what kind of bad movie it is. Children of the Corn (2023) is the kind of bad movie that you can throw on and enjoy. It’s short, focused and features a fantastic performance from the new head of the creepy corn kids. The script is bad (and backed by that decent at best story) and the third act monster reveal is better on paper than in practice…but for what it is, and the legacy it is a part of, I’d argue that it kind of works.
That fantastic performance is given by Kate Moyer as Eden. Eden is the leader of the children’s revolt. Now…while the revolution itself is, as always, quite silly…Moyer’s performance is not. She devours every scene she is in with confidence and zeal. She is the highlight of the film…and her amount of screen time makes it impossible to simply dismiss Children of the Corn (2023) out of hand.
Moyer is dealing with the same bad dialog that the rest of the cast is…but she finds a way to elevate everything she does. Not everyone fares quite as well…although the script is a bigger problem than the way it’s being delivered. Outside of Moyer, however, no one stands out among the cast.
And that’s about it. The problem with Children of the Corn movies usually boils down to “and that’s about it”. It’s a one note franchise taking its notes from a near 50-year-old short story. This may be the eleventh time the note is being played…but every variation on it still sounds about the same. It’s strange to feel the need to come to the defense of a movie that isn’t even good…but for a creepy corn kid movie…it’s fine.
Scare Value
Here’s the thing about Children of the Corn (2023): it’s a bad movie. That doesn’t mean that it isn’t a watchable movie…or even an occasionally fun one. It’s just a movie that you’ve probably seen before. Or ten times before. A wonderful performance does everything that it can with a nothing script. At some point the question becomes whether there is a good movie in King’s short story in the first place.
2/5
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Children of the Corn (2023) Trailer
If you enjoyed this review of Children of the Corn (2023), check out another new movie review: Consecration or Family Dinner
