Body Bags review.
It’s been 30 years since Showtime aired Body Bags. The rare anthology that had a better framing story than individual segments. Which makes it an… ahem…mixed bag.
Classic movie reviews will contain spoilers.
Body Bags
Directed by John Carpenter and Tobe Hooper
Written by Billy Brown and Dan Angel
Starring Stacy Keach, David Warner, Mark Hamill, Debbie Harry, Sheena Easton, Twiggy and Robert Carradine
Body Bags Review
It’s been thirty years since Body Bags first aired on Showtime. An anthology horror film cobbled together with the three filmed episodes of a planned anthology series. Heavy hitting horror directors John Carpenter and Tobe Hooper were behind the camera…so Showtime wasn’t screwing around. At least until they cancelled the planned series and crammed the episodes into this film.
Having material from legends like Carpenter and Hooper should be cause for celebration. Unfortunately, the budget for TV episodes limits what can be accomplished. It would also be fair to say that both Carpenter and Hooper could see their best work in the rear-view mirror by the time 1993 rolled around. Carpenter would release In the Mouth of Madness the next year…which I would argue is his last great film. The back half of Hooper’s career was filled with many more misses than hits.
Still, we have this oddity. Three segments (two from Carpenter, one from Hooper) comprise the meat of the Body Bags sandwich. There’s nothing inherently wrong with any of it. It is, however, the rarest of anthology movies that sees the bread of the sandwich out flavor the meat. That’s right…it finally happened. After many reviews searching for a framing story worth the time it took to watch it…Body Bags has a killer one.
Our reviews of anthology movies have ranked the shorts from worst to first and this one will be no different. The framing story will be included this time…because it deserves it.
4. Hair (segment 2)
John Carpenter’s (and the movie’s) second short story easily fills the last spot on the list. Stacy Keach plays a man who is terrified of losing his hair. His obsession over his balding head drives his girlfriend (Sheena Easton) away. When he sees an ad for a new hair growth procedure…he runs to volunteer. David Warner plays the hair doctor. Debbie Harry plays the nurse. One recurring theme of Body Bags is that the cast is filled with great, or at least interesting, choices.
The man wakes up with a full head of long hair. It only looks slightly ridiculous. There is a catch, of course. The hair is alive and starts to grow from every pore on his body. When he confronts the doctor about this, he learns the truth about the surgery. The doctor is an alien who preys on insecure people by implanting tiny aliens into their body. Yep. That would have been an episode of the tv show. A lesson about narcissism.
While it’s an easy pick for worst of the bunch…Stacy Keach is fun to watch in the role. Especially when he wakes up with hair past his shoulders and talks to himself in the mirror. That scene makes the short worth watching…even if the rest of it is boring. Some light body horror elements are there if you want them.
3. Eye (segment 3)
Tobe Hooper’s contribution to Body Bags is a predictable story…but it is carried by a nice, unhinged performance from Mark Hamill (see what I mean about the cast). Hamill is a minor league baseball player (for the Buffalo Bisons btw) who gets into a car accident one rainy night and loses an eye. You can already predict exactly where this is heading, can’t you? A doctor has a radical surgery that can save the day. An eye transplant, the first of its kind…apparently. That eye, of course, comes from a recently killed serial killer. Because why wouldn’t it?
If it wasn’t for Hamill’s building lunacy this segment wouldn’t work either. He begins to have visions of murder and eventually loses himself to them. Complicating matters is his wife has recently become pregnant. What should be the happiest time of his life is now filled with visions of abusing and killing his wife.
The ending is as obvious as the set-up. Hamill stabs himself in the evil eye, choosing death over harming his family. The more Hamill’s character loses it the better the story becomes. There may not be much to it…but the performance elevates what little there is.
2. The Gas Station (segment 1)
The opening short in Body Bags (also directed by Carpenter) is easily the best of the three. It too is a simple story, but it sticks to what Carpenter is best at. An escaped killer in Haddonfield trying to kill a young woman. No, it isn’t Michael Myers. But it is set in Haddonfield as a nod to that other Carpenter story with a similar plot. Here, a woman is working her first shift at a gas station. It’s nighttime and reports are that a serial killer is on the loose.
This segment is overloaded with fun casting. Wes Craven makes a cameo as an eccentric customer. Sam Raimi plays the corpse of the woman’s actual boss (it was the escaped killer who she met with earlier. A decent twist all told). David Naughton plays a customer who fortuitously leaves his credit card behind. He returns to collect it in time to aid in crushing the antagonist under a car.
Carpenter introduces odd characters early to set a find atmosphere. It builds to a sledgehammer wielding psycho stalking our heroine around the building. Fun stuff. The easy winner amongst the three short stories.
1. The Morgue (framing story)
The day I thought would never come actually came thirty years ago. We have an excellent framing story. John Carpenter plays a coroner who serves as the host of our show. The concept itself is a strong one. All the bodies in the morgue have a story. They all reached his slab somehow…and the ones that didn’t die of natural causes (he hates natural causes) are worthy of having those stories told.
What makes The Morgue the highlight of Body Bags is John Carpenter’s hilarious performance. The concept is great…the twist at the end is even better. But it is Carpenter who makes it all work. He’s got a full Crypt Keeper vibe…which is fitting for the job he’s performing. The framing story of Body Bags is so much fun, and so funny, that it is strange how little of that tone is in the shorts themselves.
That great twist at the end? Carpenter isn’t the coroner at all. When the morgue workers enter, he removes his costume and takes his place amongst the dead bodies on a slab. He continues to narrate for us, as funny as ever, as his body is cut open. It’s an incredible performance from beginning to surprising end. Earning it top marks not only in Body Bags, but in a ranking of framing devices everywhere.
Scare Value
There’s nothing really bad in Body Bags. It does feel every bit the stitched together episodes of an abandoned tv show that it is. Enough fun actors pop up throughout the film to distract from the underwhelming segments. John Carpenter completely steals the show as the host in the framing story. I’ve searched for the great framing story my whole life…Body Bags is what I was looking for.
3/5
Body Bags Links
Streaming on Screambox, Shudder, Peacock and Tubi
Rent/Buy on VOD from Vudu and Amazon
Buy on Blu-Ray from Amazon
